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THE CHILD CONVERSATION
I am learning to be thankful for every moment and every experience in their perfection, even if it means being grateful for root canal treatment or an annoying broken wheelchair! I affirm to myself a few things that seem to give me energy on a daily basis and help me to rise above the physical difficulty.Telling ourselves that a particular heavy moment too shall pass and that things will be easier, can make life a little easier. It might be helpful to be kind and gentle to ourselves and to remind ourselves that we mostly try to do the best with the knowledge and understanding that we have, that it is our birthright to be here, that we are more than enough, that things are unfolding as they should -even when the relationship, washing machine, computer, etc, etc break all at once; or despite seeing a drowned fly elegantly floating in the newly bought bottle of Cabernet.
Things will come to us in the right time and space; we are hugely loved, even if our loved ones are ratty to us; we have the capacity to give and receive love freely - despite sometimes feeling like strangling a particularly irritating fellow human; we are allowed to always speak our specific truths openly and freely; we continue to have more insight, understanding and wisdom on a daily basis and we are complete and perfect just as we are.
Self-pity can become a vicious cycle and things could always, let's make that normally, be worse and it helps not to ask the question: "Why me?", but rather "why not me?"
Our freedom and happiness seem to lie in our ability to select our thoughts and I think it is important to keep ourselves close to what makes us feel good, warm and will make us laugh and smile. Admittedly, this is easier when slowly sipping a mojito or, preferably authentic French champagne, at a luxurious spa sanctuary. But unadulterated pleasures are not always close at hand. Sometimes it is enough to merely think: "I will be okay...".
I hope and wish to go through life with ease and lightness and this is my wish for all living beings. I tell myself that things are getting better and better every day and I thank God for all the love and beauty in my life.
Excerpt from "The Dandelion Diary":
"I felt lighter and had a first glimpse of the sun peeping over the shoulder of the hill. My mind was starting to become less nebulous and I thought of staking a claim to my own life. I wanted to make choices myself.Yes, I was penned up within the walls of ataxia. That was an unavoidable reality. But I could choose to watch the new day's sun emerging, or to suffocate in my shallow breath; I had the right to make that choice myself..."